Conversation Starters: What to Say When the Talk Runs Dry

When a conversation runs dry, the fix is rarely a cleverer opener — it's a more open question and a better follow-up. Here's how to start talk, keep it going and recover from a lull, with 30 example conversation starters you can use tonight.

Ask open questions, not quiz questions

A closed question gets a one-word answer. "Did you have a good weekend?" "Yeah." Done. An open question invites a story: "What was the best part of your weekend?" The rule of thumb is simple — start with what, how, which or "tell me about," and skip anything that can be answered with yes or no.

Specific beats general, too. "How was your trip?" gets "Good, thanks." "What's one thing from the trip you'd do again?" gets a place, a meal and probably a story about getting lost. A narrower question is easier to answer, because the other person doesn't have to summarize a whole week.

Watch out for the interview trap: where do you work, where do you live, where are you from, fired off in a row. Each one is fine alone. Back to back, they feel like a form being filled in.

The follow-up does the real work

Most conversations don't die because the first question was bad. They die because the second question never came. After someone answers, ask about what they just said — not about whatever you were planning to say next.

Think of every good question as a card with a second side. The front gets the answer; the back keeps it going. Four follow-ups work almost anywhere:

1. "Why that one?"
2. "What's the story behind it?"
3. "Would you have said the same five years ago?"
4. "Tell me more."

Listen for the detail people drop in passing. "I'm wiped, we just got back from my cousin's wedding" contains a wedding, a cousin and a trip. Pick any of them up. People offer these threads because they're happy to talk about them.

And trade, don't interrogate. Answer your own question when it comes back around, or offer a small story of your own. A conversation is two people taking turns, not one person collecting answers. For more on hosting this with a group, see how to run an icebreaker nobody dreads.

How to recover from a lull

A pause of a few seconds is not a failure — it's usually just two people thinking. If it stretches, try one of these:

1. Call back to an earlier thread. "You mentioned you're learning guitar — how's that going?" It shows you were listening, and it's the most underrated move in conversation.
2. Use what's around you. The food, the music, the room, the event you're both at. Shared surroundings are free material.
3. Offer something of your own. A short story or a mild opinion gives the other person something to react to.
4. Ask for an opinion, not a fact. Low-stakes debates ("Is breakfast the best meal?") get people talking fast. Our hot takes questions are built for exactly this.
5. Let it breathe. With people you know well, a comfortable silence is a good sign, not a problem to solve.

What to avoid

Skip the yes-or-no chains, the topping ("That's nothing, once I…"), and the phone check mid-answer. Steer clear of invasive topics with people you don't know well: salary, weight, relationship status, religion and politics. And don't fake interest — people can tell, and a genuine "Huh, I've never thought about that" beats a polished question every time.

With someone you just met

• What's been the best part of your week so far?
• How do you know everyone here?
• What brought you out tonight?
• What are you into right now that you could talk about for an hour?
• What does a good weekend look like for you?
• What's the best thing you've eaten lately?
• What's a recommendation you've been giving everyone recently?
• What's a spot around here you think more people should know about?
• What got you into the work you do?
• What's something you've been meaning to try?

For a longer list, see our getting to know you questions.

With people you already know

• What have you gotten into since we last caught up?
• What's happened this month that I haven't heard about yet?
• What plan are you most excited about right now?
• What's a habit you picked up recently that actually stuck?
• What's taking up most of your headspace lately?
• If you could take next week off, what would you do with it?
• What's a memory of us you think about more than I'd guess?
• What's something you'd like company for — a class, a trip, a project?
• What's a small win from this week you haven't told anyone about?
• Who's someone new in your life I should hear about?

For a group

• What's a useless talent you're secretly proud of?
• What's a food everyone loves that you can't stand?
• What's the best concert, game or show you've ever been to?
• If this group started a business together, what would it sell?
• What's a harmless opinion you'd defend against everyone here?

When you're stuck

• What would you be doing right now if you weren't here?
• What's the best thing about this place, in your opinion?
• Where's the last place you went that surprised you?
• What's a question you wish people asked you?
• What's the most interesting thing you've read or heard this week?

Play it on your phone

Icebreaker is built around that second step: tap any card to flip it, and the back gives you a follow-up that keeps the answer going. Getting to Know You is one of the three free decks, with 50 questions for new friends, and Quick Shuffle mixes cards across decks when you want variety. It works offline, with no account or sign-up.

The bottom line

Ask questions that can't be answered with one word, then follow the answer instead of moving on. When the talk stalls, call back to something they said earlier or offer a bit of yourself. Good conversation isn't about the perfect opener — it's about the second question.