Getting to Know You Questions: 60 for New Friends

Good getting to know you questions skip the usual checklist of job, hometown and commute, and get to the things that make someone interesting: what they love, what they're like and what makes them laugh. These 60 are friendly, easy to answer and safe for almost any group of new people.

Easy starters

Quick, low-pressure and impossible to get wrong. Use these in the first few minutes.

• What's the best thing that happened to you this week?
• What's your go-to comfort food?
• What did you do last weekend that you'd happily do again?
• What app on your home screen says the most about you?
• Are you a morning person, a night person or neither?
• What's a small luxury you never skip?
• What's the last thing you bought that turned out to be worth it?
• What's your favorite way to spend a rainy afternoon?
• What's your coffee shop order, and is it complicated?
• What song do you play when you need a boost?
• What's a snack you could eat every day?
• What's a place nearby you think more people should know about?

What they're into

Interests are the fastest route to common ground, and people light up when you ask about theirs.

• What's a hobby you'd love to get more people into?
• What's the last show you watched way too fast?
• What's something you know a surprising amount about?
• What sport, game or activity brings out your competitive side?
• What's the best live event you've ever been to?
• What's a creative thing you do just for yourself?
• What's a weird fact you love telling people?
• What kind of trip do you take when you get to choose: beach, city or mountains?
• What's a fandom or niche community you belong to?
• What's an app or tool you'd recommend to anyone?
• What's a food you'd travel just to eat again?
• What's a talent you have that rarely comes up in conversation?

A peek at their personality

These are fun to answer and quietly revealing, because they're about how someone actually behaves.

• How would your best friend describe you in three words?
• What's guaranteed to make you laugh?
• What's a pet peeve you know is a little unreasonable?
• Are you the planner in your friend group, or the one who just shows up?
• What compliment do you get the most?
• What do your friends always come to you for?
• What's your relationship with being on time?
• What's your signature move at a party?
• What's your strategy at a buffet?
• What are you like when you're really excited about something?
• What's a habit that would surprise people who just met you?
• What's a routine you would defend against anyone?

Stories worth hearing

Once people are comfortable, story questions are where new friendships really start.

• What's the best story from a trip that went sideways?
• What's the most interesting job you've ever had, even for one summer?
• When did saying yes to something change your whole year?
• Tell me about the best teacher or coach you ever had.
• What did you do for fun at fourteen?
• What's the luckiest break you've ever caught?
• Tell me about a time you got completely lost.
• What's a small kindness you still remember?
• What's something you'd never do again but are glad you did once?
• What's the most memorable meal you've ever had, and who was there?
• Tell me about a place you lived that shaped you.
• What's a story your family loves to tell about you?

Light hypotheticals

Good for groups, because everyone can answer and the answers are easy to compare.

• If you could instantly master one instrument, which would it be?
• If you could live in any city for a year, where would you go?
• If you opened a restaurant, what would be on the menu?
• If you got one extra hour every day, what would you do with it?
• Which decade's fashion would you bring back?
• What would your walk-up song be?
• If you had to teach a class tomorrow, what would it be on?
• What fictional character would you want as a roommate?
• What job would you try for a week if you could skip the training?
• What would you name a boat?
• What's a superpower that would be useful but deeply boring?
• If you picked the theme for the next party you go to, what would it be?

How to use them with new people

Go first. Answer the question yourself before passing it on. It sets the tone, shows how long an answer should be and takes the pressure off everyone else.

Start in the shallow end. With a group of strangers, stick to easy starters and hypotheticals. Save story questions for the second hour, or for when the group splits into twos and threes.

Follow up on one answer. "Wait, what happened next?" is where friendships start. You'll learn more from one good follow-up than from ten new questions.

Keep it opt-in. Nobody has to answer, and some topics don't belong in a first conversation: relationship status, money, appearance, religion and politics. With a big group, go around once with the same question, then let the conversation wander. Ten to fifteen minutes is plenty.

Hosting a bigger crowd? Our party icebreaker games turn questions like these into a game, and the broader list of icebreaker questions covers every setting. Once the new friends become regulars, move on to questions to ask your friends.

Play it on your phone

Getting to Know You is one of the three free decks in Icebreaker, with 50 questions made for new friends. Add everyone's names in pass-the-phone mode and the app shows whose turn it is, and tap any card to flip it for a follow-up prompt that keeps the answer going. There's no account and no sign-up, and it works offline.

The bottom line

Getting to know someone isn't about collecting facts; it's about finding the things that make them light up. Start easy, go first, follow up on the good answers and let people pass when they want to. A handful of the right questions can turn a room of strangers into people who swap numbers at the end.